There are lots of things in the world which piss me off, but, without wishing to sound like a regular Scrooge, one of my biggest annoyances is with Xmas.
Now, before writing any further, lets get one thing out of the way. I like Christmas, in that it is a religious season where the Jesus was born, creating hope for humanity by letting us have a saviour. All good in theory if you are a practising Christian, but totally irrelevant if you are Jewish, Jedi or Jain (other religious groups are also available). To me, Christmas starts around Epiphany, so you have about 6 weeks to get it all in – Boney M singing “Away in a Manger”, a Nativity Scene in town, Salvation Army doing the only thing they are good for, and a glorified Sunday roast on Christmas Day (followed, in my case, by the traditional family argument).
On the other hand, I absolutely loathe Xmas. From mid-August, the supermarkets start plying their shelves with shitty wares, until reaching an orgasmic crescendo of consumer spending in the final weeks of December, timed perfectly with non-stop Xmas hits on the radio and announcements everywhere wishing people a good “Festive Season” (whatever that is). Meanwhile, wherever you go, there is no longer any mention of Jesus, as there are new mascots for these seasonal times – in the past, it was that fat bastard Santa, but in more recent times, even he has been pushed aside in favour of that snotty green gremlin who goes by the name of “The Grinch”.
It gets worse! Every year, without fail, I have to take “Christmas photos”. Invariably, this means ladies dressed in red-and-white outfits brought from Ann Summers or Temu, topped off with a fluffy red Santa hat. You could say it is just seasonal marketing, but the dislike is for a simple reason: Xmas photos have a short shelf life. Once taken, you can only have them on a profile for maybe 6-8 weeks before you have to remove them, so it is work with minimal return. While you can leave lingerie or dress pics on a profile all year around, the same doesn’t apply to Xmas photos, so in all honesty, they are just a PITA.
Having got that off my chest, the ladies would like to wish you a good Christmas. Whether you are watching “Die Hard” or something a bit more traditional, may it be a safe and warm one. Failing that, you can just look at the festive pics which our ladies have online.
